my play (no name... post some!; its alittle violent)

Just talk about stuff in general...Doesn't matter what it is.

A

Poll ended at Sat Feb 25, 2012 9:43 pm

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1
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4/5
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Not quite there yet... (explain)
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Total votes: 3

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Redhollowlives999
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my play (no name... post some!; its alittle violent)

Post by Redhollowlives999 » Wed Feb 15, 2012 9:13 pm

this is a script for a play im writing for church so dont blame me for its cheesiness.. if you want you can skip some parts... it shows what really happens.... i pl--- nvm the cast list in at the bottom

Scene 1: Public Place/ College

[Enter Nalia looking for something in her purse]
[Enter Samuel]

Samuel: Nalia??

Nalia: (gasp) Samuel, how are you?

Samuel: ha-ha, I’m doing well, how are your studies going?

Nalia: you know lots of books, essays…

Samuel: how about your biblical studies, how are they going?

Nalia: [turn her face in shame] well…, I’m going to church but, I not feeling the presence
of God with me… like … something is pulling him away from me.

Samuel: Nalia, if you don’t at least pray, you’ll only hurt yourself and make your guardian angel do more work... and you’ll lose your touch with god… you got to think!

Nalia: I KNOW!!! But…. It’s... I don’t know!! I’m just too busy... I don’t have time for biblical studies or prayer…. And people tell me that church is stupid and I should just quit church all together.

Samuel: what type of excuse is that?!…that’s a terrible reason for not praying or worshipping!

Nalia: … so… what do I do??

Samuel: if you have no time…. Then make some….
[Read psalms 23]

Nalia: What does that mean??

Samuel: It’s fairly simple actually… God is comfort; he stays with us even when we face
evil, he’s there and will always be there but only when you look for him through ---

Both: prayer.

Nalia: …that’s a lot of work though…

Samuel: it’s all worth it
“He that overcometh, the same shall be clothed in white raiment; and I will not blot his name out of the book of life, but I will confess his name before my father, and before his angels.” Don’t you want that too? Eternal life? Eternal happiness?

Nalia: that sounds wonderful... but who do I reach such greatness?

Samuel: Read on…

Nalia: “H...He that hath an ear let him hear what the spirit saith unto the church” I get it

Samuel: That, study, and prayer is the secret to winning this war… which church are
you going to?

[Nalia hands over the number and address of the church]

Samuel: oh this is the one a few bus stops away from mines; I’ll be headed for you
church on Saturday then.

Nalia: well I got to go, nice seeing you, later!

Samuel: later…



Scene 2: Church (day):

[Nalia makes it to church a bit after the classes end; she sits next to Samuel as Jasperl and zephyr exchange greeting]
[The pastor preaches. During the holy message, Nalia receives an “important” text message from her friend veronica]




Code: Select all

this does not exsist!.. it didnt paste.. oh well

[Nalia leaves]

Samuel: That girl…. God please help her overcome this obstacle...

[Samuel turns to the pastor]

Jasperl: Ugh this woman…

Zephyr: Why not just leave her?

Jasperl: Because... it’s not her fault… if anything it’s mine for not trying harder….

Zephyr: …. Dude I think she left you...

Jasperl: oh snap!
[Jasperl leaves]


Scene 3: Movie Theater (entrance)

[Nalia runs into the movie theater; Jasperl goes after her, but is blocked by 9 demons 3 by 3, representing their ranks]

Jasperl: MOVE….

Demons: hahahahahahahahahahahaha-ha-he? Oh crap he’s serious…
Demon #1: no angel is allowed in this building…
Demon# 9: that includes you! Jasperl Del Monte!

Jasperl: is that so? Then what if I did THIS!

[With the swing of the sword and a few ducks and punches, Jasperl knocks out the first 3 demon out]

Lucien: Round 2…

[Demons # 4, 5, and 6 attack Jasperl; Jasperl is caught off-guard…but manages to knock them out]

Lucien: Get him…

[Jasperl goes straight for Lucien, but is grabbed and pinned to the ground by demons 7
& 9; Lucien walks up to jasperl’s face]

Lucien: sleep tight!

[Lucien kicks Jasperl in the face…]

Lucien: get him out of here…. Oh snap!

[Lucien runs out; exit everyone]
MEANWHILE

………

Auron: Where is that idiot?

Warg: I have no idea sir…. He said he’d be here around now…..

Lucien: I’m here….

Auron: RAFAEL! What took you so dang long?!

Lucien: my name is Lucien s—

Auron: yeah yeah who cares you is name is stupid we all know that…. AND WHY AREN’T
YOU BOWING DOWN?!

Lucien: my biggest apologies sir! You called from me?

Auron: yes… you see I know that idiot Merck will fail… you can smell it in the air… CAN
YOU SMELL IT?

Lucien: uhh yes sir… it stinks… a-alot?

Auron: And these idiots are hideous as you can see...

Lucien: what are you getting to sir?

Auron: there’s a girl named Nalia… find her… seduce her… keep her away from church...
then kill her… only that and only that… then send me the reports… understood?

Lucien: yes sir.....

Auron: don’t fail me; get changed, and wait for her... her movie will end in 15 minutes. She has an angel guarding her so go for it and ONLY GO FOR IT as soon when Merck fails... Understood?

Lucien: yes Auron sir!

[Lucien changes his form into a handsome man]

Auron: You’re name will be Rafael in this form. Now go!

[14 minutes later; Nalia finally walks out with her friends and veronica… Who is being controlled by a demon named ‘Merck’. The 2 talk away from the group]

Jasperl: wah? FINALLY!

Veronica: I still have 2 more tickets… and I’m off work Saturday next week, want to go?

Merck: Tell her that you’ll make reservations at a good restaurant and it’ll be at no
expense to her…

Veronica: I could even make reservations at a good restaurant and it’ll be at no expense to you…

Nalia: No thanks I need to study the bible and go to church on Saturday… later

Merck: STOP HER!

Veronica: WAIT!

Nalia: WHAT?! WHAT’S WRONG??!

[Veronica looks at Merck so he can help her out… He’s got nothing…]

Veronica: uhh say hi to… you’re... mother?

Nalia: … good-bye!

Jasperl: MERCK!

[Veronica and Merck run away from Jasperl]


Scene 4: Movie Theater: Parking Lot


Nalia: That movie was fun!

Rafael: I’m sorry, but I couldn’t help but notice from my car how beautiful you are…

Nalia: teehee thanks

Rafael: no no I mean it… allow me to introduce myself… my name is luc--- Rafael, my
apologizes.

Nalia: my name is Nalia, nice to meet you….

Rafael: likewise, would you like to out on a date…

Nalia: s-s-sure, but I don’t even know you!

Rafael: ask me anything then!

Nalia: Where are you from?

Rafael: Peru

Nalia: What I have Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis. are you?

Rafael: pagan---- ADAH DAH I Mean Christian! So would you like to go out?

Nalia: YES! I mean yeah sure… when?

Rafael: Saturdays! Only Saturdays…

Jasperl: huh? Wait a minute! [Jasperl runs behind Nalia’s car and walks out as a human then walks up to Rafael who is leaning in for a kiss in the cheek]

Jasperl: GET AWAY FROM HER…..

Rafael: what? Who the the the the the are you to tell me to get away from her?!

[Jasperl raises his hood to reveal his eyes; Rafael carries a shocked face and runs]

Nalia: wait!!

Jasperl: humph... he was trouble… trust me...

Nalia: who…are you?

Jasperl: just a friend…

[As Jasperl leaves he stands next to Nalia and says]

Jasperl: protect yourself, and watch out for trouble... and don’t be afraid to ask a true friend for help…

[Jasperl disappears as soon as Nalia turns around]

Meanwhile

Auron: that idiot failed too…

[Lucien enters]

Lucien: my highest apologizes’ sire! But it was that blasted—

Auron: Jasperl… correct? Looks like I’ll have to step in… LET’S GO!!!! WE’RE PAYING NALIA AND JASPERL A VISIT!

ALL: YES SIR!

Auron: as for you RAFAEL!

Lucien: It’s Lucien sir……

Auron: Fine “Lucien” as for you [decks Lucien] that’s for failing me... stay here until
you’re told otherwise! Make sure to give the same message to Merck!

Lucien: y-y-es sir [Lucien faints]


Scene 5: Church (night) AY Program:

Nalia: Samuel!!

Samuel: Nalia? Whats wrong? You left early without saying a word… What happened?

Nalia: well I sorta, maybe, accidentally went to the movies with my friend who offered
me free tickets…

Samuel: is that all?

Nalia: and I kinda almost went on a date with a p-pagan Christian or whatever…

Samuel: WHAT?! DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT A PAGAN IS?!

Nalia: no….

Samuel: oh….. (Akward…) okay lets have a talk on how what you did disappointed god and how to prevent such from happening again….

[Samuel takes nalia to the back as Raul and Jasperl talk]

Raul: That woman doesn’t understand the basics… on anything… and on top of that shes
making you do more work by not looking for god at her fullest extent…..

Jasperl: yes… she is annoying at that…. And I have to keep saving her from trouble…

Raul: Just remember, no soul is a waist of time to god, even you should know that...

Jasperl: heh, you never change… im well aware, Im not gonna give up that easily…

Raul: hmph, you’re so optimistic is halarious!

Nalia: so, what up? What did I do?

Samuel: well from what you told me it sounds like somebody saved you from a real pickle…

Nalia... well…. What did I do wrong?

Samuel: well first off…. The fact that you left church, but then YOU WENT TO THE MOVIES! That’s a big no no…….

Nalia: wait, why does it matter that I went to the movie theater? What difference does it make if I went to the park or the theater?

Samuel: theres nothing wrong with a simple walk through the park or a simple visit after the holy message…. But to the movies! The movie theater is unholy place; it’s full of lies and demons...

Nalia: lies? Demons?!

Samuel: yup, it confuses people with the thoughts of Hollywood and people subconciously start to compare it to their lives, and you’re angel is literally kicked out because:
1. They don’t want to be there
And
2. The demons don’t want them there…
So why go to a place where you lose touch with God more quickly??
And then there that pagan…
The fact that somebody stopped you from going out with him is truly a miracle, you said when you asked who he is he told you ‘just a friend’?

Nalia: yeah…

Samuel: wow…. Okay time to hit the book

[Nalia and Samuel continue to speak; Jasperl and Raul begin to speak]

Raul: That woman doesn’t understand the basics… on anything… and on top of that she’s making you do more work by not looking for God at her fullest extent…..

Jasperl: yes… she is annoying at that…. And I have to keep saving her from trouble…

Raul: man, why don’t you just forget about her? She’s a waste of time…

Jasperl: no soul is a waste of time – even you should know that…

Raul: I see…. Very well, if you trust in her, then I will trust her as well….

[The two walk to the back; enter Auron and his subordinates]
[BATTLE SCENE DIALOGUE; PART 1]

Auron: So…. Where’s the girl….oh there she is… WELL WELL IF IT ISNT JASPERL…. Have fun harrassing my minions and protogue?

Jasperl: hmph Auron, get tired of making you’re minions do YOU’RE work?

Auron: hey check this out

[Auron shows Jasperl his back-hand]

Jasperl: ?! THAT’S—

Auron: That’s right, guess who’s in-charge of screwing with this 1/2 of NYC? Let me give you a hint, THE GUY WHO HAS JUST BEEN PROMOTED TO RANK 7!

Jasperl: Out of 48…

Auron: hmph, LOC, SHOKK, BARREL, WARG!

ALL: YES SIR!

Jasperl: wait! One on one!

Auron:… Fine, let me show you morons how to follow orders..

[Jasperl rushes in to attack Auron. Auron grabs Jasperl by the neck and throw him on the floor; Jasperl recovers quickly]

Auron: just give up, at the end she’s min—

Jasperl: that’s enough….

Auron: okay, ROUND TWO!!

[Auron rushes in with a right sliding knee attack; Jasperl also rushes in, but was forced to block Auron’s knee attack. Auron tries to jab Jasperl back but Jasperl manages to defend enough to not be knocked out by the attack. The two back away.]

Auron: you’re making this irritating... and this is my favorite part of the job..

Jasperl: killing innocent women..?

Auron: well… When you put it that way.. then YES I LOVE KILLING THE INNOCENT!!!

[the two rush forward to attack]
___________________________to be continued__________________________________







Table content
Scenes: college, church, theater/parking lot, church (back), home
Characters:
-Main:
Protagonist Antagonist
Nalia (Noelia R.) Auron [demon: boss of nyc] (Jorge R. aka me)
Samuel (Andres F.) Merck [demon]
Jasperl (Alexis F.) LOC [demon]
Raul Shokk [demon]
BaRrel [demon]
Warg [demon] (Jeremy)

-Supporting:

Protagonist Antagonist
Zephyr (Charlie S.) Verónica (Fabula)
Amanda (Serenity V.) Lucien/Rafael [human and demon; my 2nd] (RENDY R.)
Elite Ángel (Jorge A.; my dad.... in real life.. not my play)
it really do be like that tho

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Zup
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Re: my play (no name... post some!; its alittle violent)

Post by Zup » Wed Feb 15, 2012 11:30 pm

Holy God Jesus Horus that is one helluva long こし post for me to read brosef
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Redhollowlives999
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Re: my play (no name... post some!; its alittle violent)

Post by Redhollowlives999 » Thu Feb 16, 2012 6:20 am

Really? Seems quite short >__> I find no pride in this...... I gots to finish this
it really do be like that tho

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Re: my play (no name... post some!; its alittle violent)

Post by Rammerrush » Thu Feb 16, 2012 6:26 pm

I wouldve read the whole thing but it's too long and it's preachy. Not just normal preachy... Church preachy
Red: I've seen a 10-way.
Ram: That's how I met your mother, Red.
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Redhollowlives999
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Re: my play (no name... post some!; its alittle violent)

Post by Redhollowlives999 » Thu Feb 16, 2012 6:38 pm

Still has violence...like I said.. If it gets cheesy... Then skip a part
it really do be like that tho

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Zup
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Re: my play (no name... post some!; its alittle violent)

Post by Zup » Thu Feb 16, 2012 7:14 pm

violence is good

long text + laziness is not
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Re: my play (no name... post some!; its alittle violent)

Post by Rammerrush » Thu Feb 16, 2012 7:23 pm

i couldnt get to the violence... it made me tired
Red: I've seen a 10-way.
Ram: That's how I met your mother, Red.
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Re: my play (no name... post some!; its alittle violent)

Post by K73SK » Thu Feb 16, 2012 8:26 pm

Any posts too long for me make me want to turn away. I can't even moderate it because it's too long to read. My god!
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Redhollowlives999
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Re: my play (no name... post some!; its alittle violent)

Post by Redhollowlives999 » Thu Feb 16, 2012 10:33 pm

SKIP
try reading the 3rd scene and after.. i play the big bad boss here.... ... i OWN EVERYTHING! and i can back up what i say :o

so is anybody paicent enough to read this short part of my whole story? >.>
it really do be like that tho

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Re: my play (no name... post some!; its alittle violent)

Post by Lonewulf » Fri Feb 17, 2012 5:49 pm

Well...I read it. Wow, that was some preachy-ness....alot of preachy-ness. Violence doesn't really cancel that out. I'm sure i'd like it better if I were christian but...yeah....
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