DV invades legaia

[GoldenPower89]

Maybe I could finally get that Spirit Fish if I use Gala as bait...

[deadly virus]

Dv woke up in some underground place. It was some stupid town call Octam, but underground. Wooooooooord

Earthquake?! Miley Cyrus swirve.

blah blah talking babies and some REM crap. DV was too busy eating mushrooms. Sadly, they did nothing for him. There was some stupid dog, DV just kicked it out of the way because.. stop asking questions

DV: "dumb moose"

Dog: "STFU you ⌂_⌂ Miley Cyrus こし ho"

DV: "... huh?"

Dog: "I mean... ruff ruff"

Another earthquake.. knocked down the house with the babies. They thought they had been killed.. silly them. DV actually ate them because .....

Some other woman lost her house, but no one cared because she was fat

omfg another earthquake. Good thing DV doesn't give a 質 about the weather or the noise.

They headed down some dumb place called the fire path into order to find the source of this 質. Turns out it was some bull man thing.

DV sliced off one of his 4 legs and dipped it in ranch dressing

Gala: "omjesus dv.. all you do is eat and drink"

DV: "Watch thus!"

DV cast his "Fireball of horrible 猿が大好きだよ burning" spell that hit the manbull for 800000000000000 damage and killed his children

Why the the the the the is everything cold

[deadly virus]

They arrived at Ratayu: Gateway to the west or something. Apparently DV missed something about a star gem, the shadow gate, and 3 weirdo ninjas. Oh well. We got places to be

Blah blah mist

in the castle was some guy with a mushroom head. DV wanted to eat it since he was going through withdrawl. Something about a mountain and another tree blah blah. DV was doing shots of 151 and smoking black tar heroin so his attention was limited.

It was another stupid mountain filled with rocks and bushes. The tree had some triangle around it. DV knocked Gala into it, but nothing happened. That Songi whore showed up again and said things. Dv didn't give him a chance to finish and just mule kicked him into the forefield which deactivated it. Hmmm guess Gala wasn't fat enough. The mist cleared as the tree grew and which caused DV to projectile vomit everywhere and kill off several species of endangered wildlife.

Back at town no one seemed happy. Dv didn't care. He was chugging rum and eating a pizza taco stuffed with big macs

In between robbing people who weren't supervising their stuff, the group learned this king guy was stealing brides or something. Noa having the intellect of a dead moose decided to let herself get captured.

Gala: "We must save her!"

DV: "No! shut up Miley Cyrus I got candy!"

except Noa pick pocked dv's skittles before she left.

DV and Gala stormed into the palace. Dv's intentions were a bit different since he wanted to nuke her into oblivion. Guards tried to attack, but died. Gala didn't really help, he just stood there fist pumping.

a kermo...dog shot a spike at dv's chest and it just shattered against his chest. He laughed before he killed them and glitched through the door.

Dv: "You truly believed I was not invincible?!" chucklechucklechuclle//////

more guards attacked and more guards died.

that sarayu..whoever turned into a giant mushroom and did things

DV: "cleave unto me and know the joy of eternal darkness!" dv said more scary things while summoning more rum and snickers

Dv tore the mushroom right off the guy blah blah.. something about mist..who the 猿が大好きだよ is dohaiti

[deadly virus]

All the drugs, alcohol, and fast food were beginning to take their told on DV. His physical form was deteriorating. Apparently the word "moderation" was not in his vocabulary. Whatever Miley Cyrus.. yolo or something.

DV was riding around on escalators and murdering local wildlife when he started to get annoyed. Still buzzed, he kept getting lost. He used his special "no clipping" power to walk through walls to get to his distention quicker. Some call this cheating.. I call it efficiency cuz 猿が大好きだよ you we got places to be.

Dohaiti was terrible. He looked like Zeto, but fatter. He turned into some weird bird thing. DV just ripped out his eyes and stole his wallet. Blah blah kingdom free of mist. There was still one kingdom left to save so 質 we're almost done boys and girls.

The trio could only get there by being thrown from a seru cart or something. DV was too bus looking for his sponsor's number to be paying attention. The cart crashed and exploded violently. DV survived since he takes 0 damage from everything. Gala and Noa died, but respawned shortly next to him. DV stole some money from some honest stand or w/e.

The Sol tower was in the distance... must have alot of booze

[Redhollowlives999]

"immune to all forms of everything."

I chuckled to this. Well done.

Update already you salty toe jam.

[Zup]

I wanna see some face punchin' and suplexin' in the Muscle Dome.

[deadly virus]

DV and his joly bunch of 何だよこれ！ walked into the Sol tower and DV immediately hated it since the music sucked. Not long after they walked in, they were ambused by some old guy in armor.

Gaza: "Shoot the fade!"

DV: "AW 質 brah don't you even"

Gaza: "I'm about to even"

DV: "you gon' die!"

Gaza: "brings it......"

but they the alarm for Bingo rang and the old man ran off.

Gaza: "see you at the fish fry Miley Cyrus!" he yelled as he ran off

DV did what he did best... ignore eveyone and act stupid. He went to the top of the tower. Some monks were waiting, but DV ignored them too because they all looked too fat.

DV looked over the edge of the tower.. dual wielding a bottle of pills and a bottle of gin.

DV: "Everything i've done.... I can't go back or fix any of this.... I guess there's only one thing to do

He looked over the edge of the tower and with a deep breath he muttered "猿が大好きだよ it" and jumped off. He pummpled to the ground and as he smashed into the pavement, a six letter word appeared above him....

Immune

The Grim Reaper was on his way and like "Aww 野菜 the the the the ya.. im finna reap me another soul"..... but then he saw it was DV and was like... "Awww 野菜" and rode off

DV got up, brushed himself off, and vowed to never think emo thoughts again. He looked up at the Sol Tower and said:

"I own you.."

He crub stomped a black child to show that he was racist and draw more controversy to himself

[Redhollowlives999]

He crub stomped a black child to show that he was racist and draw more controversy to himself

[deadly virus]

"They took drugs, and they all died."

DV wandered into the Jazz club or whatever it was after waking up from his 4 month long coma. They didn't even serve booze?! what the frick? They had milk though..... but it wasn't milk plus. Out of rage, old habbits, or because FU fatty, he punched the bartender right through the face.

DV: "Ohh man did you see that? My fist went THROUGH her face... ahahaha aww man.....

No one cared.

Noa got mad at some guy who was arguing with some lady with nice utters. She smacked him for being a pimp or somfin. DV got mad because people were getting hit and he wasn't the one delivering the beating. He liberated the man's top half from his bottem half. The shock wave killed the woman too. Oops. She had some kind of egg on her. DV tried to eat it, but the game wouldn't allow it.

At the muscle dome, DV wasn't able to enter. They wouldn't let him it without his weapon, but it was bound to him.. Feeling annoyed, he stole from fat kid's arcade coins and drowned a puppy in a vat of liquidized children.

Dance club? lolno

At the flower shop, DV just burned everything and threw the little kids from that over priced shop into the fire.

Bleeeeggg... at the top the head monk wanted the team to plant a genesis tree to drive back the mist. DV....planting an tree..... noooooooooooooooonononoooooo lolololololol

Before DV could do the thing he does to most people, Gaza showed up and was looking mean

Gaza: "You weren't at the fish fry Miley Cyrus!"

DV: " yeah sorry, but we're having a bbq at my mom's house over on 34th street. Come on by"

Gaza: "I don't like chicken"

Dv: "..........everyone likes chicken......."

A single swipe from his scythe, DV shattered Gaza's astral sword and sent him flying off the tower. Songi showed up and chased after him..

Sometime later, DV lied about planting the tree.. truth was he was going to piss all over it and kill it slow, making its children watch. The way to the basement was blocked. Apparently these "sage chests" needed to be given some kind of bread. Not wanting to waste time, DV used his dead hooker parts from earlier instead. The chests didn't have a choice in the matter since he smashed the lock once he put the decomposing body parts inside so they wouldnt open. It worked doe

One last obstacle remained. There were these electric fences guarding the way. Well you know what they say, the best way to kill electricity is with fire. After burning his way, he planted the tree and was ready to defile it, when songi and gaza showed up. His sword magically was repaired too. DV ignited a random cabbage he found and threw it at the old man. This some how caused his legs to explode. DV walked up the senor and stomped on his head, popping it like a grape. Unfortunately songi got away, and even worse, the tree grew and happiness was restored..

DV: "野菜"

[deadly virus]

Everyone's favorite biological mutant alcoholic finally woke up after his several month coma. He was confused how his thread had 1350 views.

He arrived in Buma and vomited at the sight of not one, but three Genesis trees. He activated Reaper form and destroyed the entire eastern coastline with this Armageddon spell. A spell so powerful, it kills you, even if you're using a god mode cheat and deletes your save file.

DV skipped forward some crap and was slightly disappointed he couldn't get to the Soran camp... since they apparently didn't allow weapons of mass destruction.

After using Reaper form to fly to the floating castle, DV was pissed since it was his idea to have a floating castle and wanted to tell this winged Snookie to kinda "die pls". Zora was her name and her existence was brief. DV grabbed her by the wing and smashed her intro objects until she was jello.... tasty jello... that he may or may not have eaten. With that Miley Cyrus dead, the castle began to fall. DV tried to pilot it so it would crash into a school or something, but he's terrible and crashed it right into a lake. Hopefully causing a tidal wave to kill a few fishermen

Having no way to pass the mountains, he used a fireball spell to delete them from the game file. Once he arrived in Conkram, he hit the first bar and had several....many drinks.

He must've had too many longisle ice teas, because he somehow ended up like 20 years in the past. He saw Cort for the first time and wondered how he could even breath with a shirt that tight.

Something about mist... Something about a tower... DV didn't give a 質 about any of this.. he just wanted to finish this. Rather than run around in a maze, he once again used his "no clipping" spell to walk to the end. Rogue was there and he died like a Miley Cyrus... cuz wtf he's a 野菜 icicle.

DV finally sobered up and was in present time. He realized that he was the only living person here.. he kinda liked that, but having no one left to kill he decided to move on to the only building left in the game.

The fortress could only be opened with some kind of gem, which DV forgot to get, but he summoned a giant shovel and flung it at the entrance and made his own.

Jettee was there and he tried to clone himself like a Miley Cyrus, but DV wasn't having any of that. He grabbed a small child who just happened to be there. He set it on fire and threw it at the freak.. killing him.

Pressing on and looting all the shinning things, he found Cort. He said somethings, but DV was trying to fix his Ipod. Cort wanted DV to join him, but when he refused, Cort began to argue about things. DV tried to argue back, but his only sources were from defunct Geocity sites that having been updated since 2000. Not taking this 質, DV threw a a random vegetable at Cort while screaming "猿が大好きだよ your lettuce"... even though the object wasn't lettuce. Whatever it was knocked Cort off a platform where hopfully he died. He left the ruins eating spoonfuls of baby seal. Along the way back to a town that he hadn't destroyed, he committed several hate crimes and mad jesus tap out to the figure four.

Don't drink and type stories kids