Leg-Eye-Ugh co. (crappy skits)

[Redhollowlives999]

As I told Lone, this is essentially about the everyday humdrum of this site; except in the form of a sitcom. Instead of a website, we all work at an unspecified office working extremely vulgar jobs doing absolutely nothing but hanging out in the employee lounge 99% of the time. I've actually been meaning to write a story consisting of all the members here (and I've tried), but never really dwelled into the thought.

These are gonna be in the form of a skit (as in not so long and in script format) and the only people that are gonna be in each post I choose to write are the people who are active in the chat when I choose to write said post. And as you might guess, what happens in the post will probably involve what we might've been talkin' about on the chat or whatever the the the the the I want because I'm the one writing.


Actually you can all feel free to try this yourselves. Write something that occurs within the universe (I've) created.

ALSO, I might use y'all's real names for convenience and cuz some of y'all have dope names anyways. I'll improvise if I don't have real names by just using casual nicknames.

Now, on to the blargh:

7/11/14 5:28pm
Active users: Lonewulf, BlueHollowDies666, Baidu [Spider]

Used Donuts
Episode 01:
(*The role of Baidu will be played by Obama*)


[Zach, Whoreghey, and Obama are sitting in the round table, sippin' their individual dranks. Jorge is typing something into his laptop, Obama is just wearing shades lookin fresh, and Lone is playing with a bottle of mustard, clay, and FF8 on his Vita. Seems like the three got there a tad bit early and no one has shown up yet.]

[James pulls out a box of 24 donuts and, without offering any, begins to devour them.]

Jorge: Ayo man you ain't gon' share?

Zach: NO.

Obama: (Sassy grin)

Zach: No one asked you Obama.

Jorge: You good man? You actin' suspicious. Gimme some donuts before I tell the big man yo'mad'sus, yah feel me?

Zach: Your mother felt me.

[There's a brief chuckle in the room before the atmosphere quiets down again.]

Zach: If you want a donut you gotta say please.

Jorge: No.

Zach: Okay here you go. (Hands Red a donut)

Jorge: ... These look used.

Zach: Well I would hope so because I bought them half off.

Obama: (Sassy grin intensifies)

Zach: Obama if you don't learn to grin quietly, BAM, RIGHT IN THE KISSER.

[Jorge stared intensely at the two dummys in the corner]

Jorge: ... Shaun? Night? Ayo Zach I'm convinced those two are dead.

Zach: No they clocked in... they're just... not talking.... It's as if they logged on to some website and just left their computers unattended....

Jorge: ... Wanna draw on their faces?

Zach: Just as soon as I'm done with this boss battle strategy. *starts ripping clay into little pieces and boxing them in with the mustard*

Jorge: FINE. C'mon Obama let's deface your citizens.

Zach: Save Virus a face; just make sure it's not raw cuz reasons. (Looks at used donuts) OH HEY DONUTS! *NOM NOM NOM*

[Another unspecified amount of time goes by; Obama is noddin' and grinning whilst Whoreghey finishes up his facial sabotage on his lower leveled employees and Zach goes out to buy... stuff.

Jorge: AAAANNNNDDDD, DONE. That was 1.07$ worth in ink, but it's worth it. Sort of. Oh well it's a company sharpie as if I care. What do you think Obama?

Obama gets hit with a lemon before getting a chance to speak.

Zach: YEAH LEMONS. I WARNED YOU!

Jorge: Darn it all you do is jump and shoot those lemons.

Zach: It's in my resume you (bleep) (bleep)(bleep) (bleep) (bleep) (bleep)(bleep)(bleep) (bleep)(bleep)(bleep)(bleep) (bleep)(bleep)(bleep) (bleep)(bleep)(bleep) motherflippin' (bleep)(bleep)(bleep)(bleep)(bleep)(bleep)(bleep)(bleep)(bleep)(bleep)(bleep)(OH MY).

Jorge: ... I agree. (Takes donuts and jumps out window)

[There is no window. They both break half their bodies.]

Obama: *Swagtastic grin; shows off gold plated teeth*

[Redhollowlives999]

7/13/14 9:35pm
Active Users: GoldenPower89, K73SK, Lonewulf, Nightshade, RedollowJives444, Deadly Virus

Linguistic Crypto-Puzzle of the Scream Zombie-Parrot-Banshees of Death... Part 4: Seven ate Nine
Episode 02:



[K7, Lone, G-Pow, Red, and Night are all chillin' in the same spot this series always takes place. K7 is filing some paper work, Lone is slurping his vodka-ramen-sundae, Night is silently judging Lone for slurping his vodka-ramen-sundae but maintain his professional aura by ignoring it and doing whatever the heck this corporation even does (cuz it seems like he's the only one that knows), and G-Pow is watching the Simpsons on his phone.]

K7: My gosh there's so much work that has to be done. >__<

Red: Yeah... I agree. We still haven't finish that... stuff.

Lone: You have NO idea what you're talking about.

Red: ... That's why I broke your china.

Lone:*Flips table* Darn it Red WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOU-

K7: No that's not what I meant. I mean the technology department is still in need of an upgrade, the receptionist quit today, and now we have a destroyed storage room thanks to a certain someone.... >__>

Night: ... Who are you looking at? Are you referring to the random Statue of Liberty that burst through the storage room door while we were taking inventory? Because she was already escorted out of the building by Obama.

K7: Yeah I know but NYC is in this general direction and I'm staring at the Statue of Liberty through this wall....

Red: (Gives Lone a chew toy) So what do we have planned this week?

Lone: You insult me. You're just lucky this reminds me of spoogy shovels.

[Wall explodes; someone drove a van through the window]

DV: did someon say spooge and shovels

Everyone: HEY IT'S DV!

DV: the one and only

Lone: Are you here with my dyslexic parrot?

DV: i'm fresh out i brought you a melon cuz i don't know how it got in my car but you can keep it whateevn

Lone: ... This is the last week--I expect my delivery by yesterday.

Red: ... As I was saying, what's on the agenda?

K7: Well nothing as of right now; we CAN start this one thing though.... I don't know....

Night: That would be...?

K7: A challenge; a way to sort of get the motivation levels up in here.

G-Pow: I can't hear this because no one quiets down....

Red: SHUT UP OR I'LL REVOKE YOU OF YOUR FORUM DOLLARS.

G-Pow: ... What?

Night: I hardly think that's fair?

Red: TOO BAD MOD POWERS HAHA BOOM!

G-Pow: What has Red been smoking?

Lone: THESE NUTS! (Pulls out roasted nuts)

DV: wuteven.

K7: ... I'm just gonna.... Yeah. *Levitates in air; uses Admin powers to create a whiteboard out of thin air* Lets begin shall we?

G-Pow: I enjoy a good challenge.

[K7 writes out a super long math equation with numbers waaaaay to high for any normal person to count (it had like 6's and 12's and 9's and Q's)]

Red: I don't math I dig holes in the middle of the road.

Night: How do you expect to solve the mysteries in life? Such as everyday fiascos such as unknown variables?

DV: i don't math i shovel the unkown in the face for tryin to be like me..

Red: What he said.

Night: The answer is clearly twelve.

G-Pow: (studies the question) I'm too smart for this.

K7: Night is correct. ^___^

Lone: OR WAS HE?!

DV: don't look at the board i want to see if it disappears

Lone: What if I stopped looking at you and YOU disappeared?

Red: ... Where is G-Pow?

(G-Pow is seen riding a zombie banshee into the sunset. Then being eaten by the sun.

Lone: See you tomorrow!

Red: If we're unlucky enough.

K7: Next question: (writes more stuff on the board)

DV: forget this math junk whoever can fix the flamethrowers in my van can get lone's melon.

Lone: MINE.

DV: quit being fat

Lone: Quit being skinny.

Red: Great job motivating everyone K7. -____-

K7: ^___^''

[Zup]

rite beter

[Redhollowlives999]

b A butter n intestin persun.

[GoldenPower89]

rite beter

Eh... I think he did an ok job. Sure, my character had very few lines, but it was still decent.

[Redhollowlives999]

Who speaks during the Simpsons. That's just sacrelige.



As for the quality, Zup has a point; I'm not writing up to my usual crappy standards. It probably wouldn't kill me to put more passion into these... but oh well why risk it.

[Zup]

You definitely could be doin' a better job.

But I was kiddin' anyway.

[Redhollowlives999]

You definitely could be doin' a better job.

But I was kiddin' anyway.

I know you were. Just wondering much better this would be if I had that drive and reason like all my other stuff. Too bad I'm not as much of a workaholic like yourself.


I'd probably be doing humanity a favor by not writing as much anyways.

[Zup]

Inhibition's prolly got more to do with it than lack of drive.

[Redhollowlives999]

I don't think so (mainly because my own stuff hasn't been updated as much for the exact same reason) but definitely can't rule that out. OH WELL.