Corrupt a Wish Game

[IronJustice]

Rusty decided to come back after a hiatus for no apparent reason and necropost in this thread! It turns out that he had been working on developing a cure for cancer, but by diverting his attention to this website once more and reading the 500 posts on the chain threads (like our favorite funny pictures) his mind began to fall apart. He did forget about the cure for cancer, but at least we have corrupt-a-wish again.

I wish I won a Ferrari in some contest.

[Nightshade]

Success. You've just received a rusted, barely-recognizable piece of metal. There is sadly no engine, no transmission, no wheels, or anything that would make the thing run. You realize that the cost to fix it to working condition is precisely the same as it would take to purchase a new one from the dealer.

I wish I passed my midterm tomorrow.

[Rammerrush]

You passed your midterm, as you ran down the hall to the bathroom, suffering a bad case of the runs. You are forced to remain in the bathroom, unable to stand up without something expeling from your body. After hours of torturous bowel movements you are able to unsteadily limp out of the bathroom and back to your class, onlt to see that it had ended hours ago and you will be the one student to get a 0.

Shoulda thought twice about those nachos, am I right

I wish I had a harem full of beautiful ladies lol

[IronJustice]

Ram opens up his 'Harem Full of Beautiful Ladies,' a nonprofit organization, categorized as 'other'. Since its a nonprofit organization, intended to spread happiness and joy to the public, Ram must rob banks to get by and survive. People come to the Harem and roll around in the pile of ladies or whatever. Throughout Ram's life he tells his family "I'm going to the office!" when actually he's going to be with his Herem that he keeps in a warehouse, using a false name to run that organization. So, as expected, one particular robbery doesn't go as planned and they can't get the vault open due to a time lock. Ram is up to his eyeballs in debt and can't afford to feed all of those ladies. They eventually revolt and steal his possessions to pawn and buy food.

I wish I had a pet cactus named Jim. Jim is one of those with the fuzzy hair on it.

[Nightshade]

You get a pet cactus named Jim. However, you trip and fall and get many sharp needles in the eyes, as you landed face-first into your good friend Jim. You go blind, and have to go to the hospital. Sadly though, you also get infections, and die from complications.

I wish I didn't have to wish for anything.

[IronJustice]

Nightshade, you nearly killed my game!

One day you awaken to your daily routine of opening a family-sized box of "Major Glory Breakfast Cereal" and promptly inhaling most of the contents ravenously. You feel a small plastic toy lodged in your throat, impeding your breathing. As you free the prize that was included in your box, it is a plastic ring of wish granting. The Major Glory Wishing Ring is said to bring 'infinite pleasure' to those who use it. Since you don't believe in magic, you promptly fling it through the air towards a trash can. Mid-flight, it stops and magically floats towards you. A small african-american genie pops out, thanking you for freeing him from the box and offering three wishes as repayment. You humbly decline, and shove the small humanoid into your mouth.

I wish I became wealthy and started a company where you all worked for me. I employ each of you to shovel sh!t. Red gets paid the least.

[Lonewulf]

Congrats! You won the lotto and used the money to buy a 質-shoveling mega-company and hired all of us to shovel 質. Unfortunately for us, you also had money for super-lawyers and you screwed us in the paperwork. We all make 'shitty' money (especially Red) and are legally unable to quit until sufficient amounts of 質 are shoveled (an UNGODLY amount, which would take us many years). Upon realizing this, we all conspire to kill you and bury you within the very 質 we have shoveled. They find your remains before it gets completely composted. however, your super-lawyers also screwed YOU in the paperwork and all your money was left to THEM. The super-lawyers get us cleared of all charges and all ends well in the world...for us, you stay dead.

I wish I had all the qualities of a Saiyan, and that I alone had these qualities.

[Prayrius]

Sadly, you became a saiyan on a night of the full moon, become a Great Ape, and destroy everything including yourself.

I wish I was a cow.

[Redhollowlives999]

I wish I was a cow.

I find you and turn you into my dinner.


I wish me and Sooyoung got married!

[CloakedDeception]

Not for the faint of heart. Don't read if you've recently eaten for fear of throwing up.
I guess I was feeling "creative" when I wrote this...

I wish me and Sooyoung got married!

You finally meet up with the love of your life and within seconds of being physically next to her, you propose. Oddly enough, she happily accepts and you two get married within the week. However, the reason why she so oddly accepted your proposal is that she secretly belongs to a cult of pop music performers along the likes Britney Spears, Ke$ha, Nicki Minaj and Rihanna. As a member of this group, they must ritualistically sacrifice an unwitting male who is in love with them so that they may continue to be famous while having no real talent. On the night of your wedding, as you happily head to your honeymoon suite, you suddenly feel weak in the knees and pass out. When you awake, your newly wedded wife tells you that she laced her lips with a slow acting poison that paralyzes your entire body but does nothing for sensation. So when you kissed her during your wedding, you were caught. She starts her ritual by slowing cutting off each toe. She then works on the fingers. As you scream in pain, she takes all twenty of your chopped off digits and stuff them in your mouth to shut you up. Next she takes her syringes filled with potent acids and injects them into your eyes. As your vision fills with blood and your eyes are slowly eaten away from the inside, she plucks them out and eats them. She then brings in the rest of her cult and each of them grabs one of your mutilated limbs. They then pull them off one by one until you are nothing but an armless, legless torso. Finally your dear wife brings out a large knife and slowly dissects through your abdomen with it. She takes her time to pull out your intestines until she gets a long enough length to strangle you with them. She then wraps your own guts around your neck while you choke on your mangled fingers and toes. She tightens the guts enough that you are near passing out but does not give you the pleasure of it. As you lay half conscious, she inserts a glowing white lump of burning coal into your opened abdomen. She watches in glee as you are burned alive from the inside. After your life slips away from a long agonizing death, she and her cult friends rip through what is left of your body with their bare hands and gobble up your remains. Finally completing the ritual, she grins with unabashed joy and tells her friends, "Now he will be inside of me forever!"
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I wish I had the power of mind control.