The Ultimate Death Metal Experience

[IAmFiction]

So I have this drummer buddy that I jam with on occasion. He decided recently to join this local death metal band which consisted of himself, a guitarist, and a singer. Afterwards he mentions that they were still needing another guitarist and bass player, so I told him I would check them out sometime. This is my recollection of my 4 hours at this guys house yesterday.

I walk into this guys house and it is pretty disgusting. I can literally see roaches crawling across the floor, dog feces in the corner etc. So right then and there I decided I wasn't sitting down the entire time I was going to be there. The guitarist Ryan comes around a corner and is a shorter spitting image of the transvestite from "Silence of the Lambs". Same hair, same body build and facial features, other than he is cross eyed and has a mouth full of black rotting teeth.

I introduce myself to the guy and he comes back with this response: "Hey I'm Ryan, just so you know, I have a court ordered obligation to tell anyone I spend time with that I am a paranoid skitzofrenic, and something else, that basically puts me in a similar mindset of a serial killer. "If and when I flip out on you, you are to hold me to the floor and call the police." ALRIGHT THEN!! On to the basement to hear your material. Long story short, he is an ego maniac and isn't really even that good. He's good, but he's sloppy with horrid tone.

In between his repetitive drills I also learn that he is a Satanist, only want's to play music that is pissed off all the time, and thinks the world will be invaded by an alien race next year that are our real gods and will make us their slaves. I don't even know what to say about all of this, I was stunned as I left. He his every cliche "Death Metaller" thing I have ever heard, and then some. A very bad example of the majority of death metal kids lol.

I think this is more of a rant than anything else but thought it might be an interesting read as well.

I didn't list everything that was wrong either just the main things. We got locked in his basement for about an hour and found randomly placed kitchen knives EVERYWHERE.

[K73SK]

That's quite the experience you had there, lol. Going back to his place?

[IAmFiction]

Lol. Highly doubtful in the near future. Unless I fall victim to a house fire and survive all burnt and scarred. All the lotion in the world wouldn't help me then. I'm sure he's got good reading material though.