Pudding Cups
Posted: Wed Feb 15, 2012 7:19 pm
This is a play that I wrote for theater class i just thought you guys would enjoy it 
Pudding Cups
Opens with a big bed in the middle of the stage, Bill is laying on it covered in dozens of blankets and pillows, and there is a TV facing the bed. The stage lights are on but dimmed a little. Bill is snoring loudly until there is a loud knocking sound.
(Series of knocks from off-stage)
Bill: Ugh! (Rustles in bed, turning left and right dynamically)
(Another series of knocks with a door bell thrown in)
Bill: (Sits straight up and stares at the door, he looks down to his watch and then proceeds to give his door the evil stink eye. After 10 seconds he gives a sigh of relief) Good. (Then lays back down)
(A musical series of knocks and doorbell rings, possibly in the tune of Jingle Bells or some other Christmas song)
Bill: (Jumps out of bed and pulls a 12 gauge shotgun out from under his bed) Come in. This better be good.
Erik: (Waltzes in with a plastic bag) Hey, Bill guess what I- (Notices the shotgun pointed at him) Whoa! Bill, is this about that one time in third grade when I stole your pudding cup?
Bill: (Starts to lower gun) No it’s-
Erik: (Interrupting) I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so, so, so sorry Bill!! I promise, I swear that I’ll buy you a whole six pack of pudding cups tomorrow. Please just don’t shoot me with that big scary gun.
Bill: (Lowers the shotgun and laughs) Ok, Erik, but I’m definitely going to hold you to that bud.
Erik: (Relieved) Phew. (Moves toward the TV and begins messing around with it) So guess what I just got.
Bill: (Ignores him) Why are you here? Its… (Looks at his watch again) 11:23 at night, Erik.
Erik: Actually its 12:23. Your watch must be off again. You always forget about daylight savings.
Bill: Well why are you here at 12:23?
Erik: Now its 24.
Bill: Why. Are. You. Here?!
Erik: Oh. Duh, for the sleep over, where is Jonathan by the way? Wasn’t he supposed to be here too?
Bill: You’re about 10 hours early, moron. Jonathan won’t be getting here till tenish, which is when I thought you were going to be coming.
Erik: Well I couldn’t wait. I just had to come straight here after I got what’s in this beautiful plastic bag.
(Bill and Erik stare at each other for a few seconds, each waiting for the other to say something)
Bill: What?
Erik: You never guessed.
Bill: Guessed what?
Erik: What I got. (Holds up bag)
Bill: Oh…. Um a… dog?
Erik: Wow you really suck at guessing games man. (Throws the bag at Bill, who just barely catches it)
Bill: (Opens the bag and pulls out what’s inside) Skyrim?
Erik: SKYRIM!!!
Bill: … I’m going back to sleep. (Throws Skyrim at Erik and lays back down) I guess you can stay here for the night. (Erik starts playing Skyrim) Have fun playing Skyrim. Just keep it down.
Erik: Don’t worry I will. See you in a couple hours. (Proceeds to play Skyrim at the foot of the bed)
(Lights go out and when the come back they are no longer dimmed at all. You see Erik still at the foot of the bed, however he is visibly twitching with the controller in his hands. the plastic bag is next to him, now full of trash)
Erik: Bill, door!
Bill: (Moaning in protest)
Erik: Fine I’ll get it, you lazy bum. (Gets up to answer the door with controller still in hand visibly shaking. Jonathan walks in and puts down a suitcase) Hey Jon-Jon.
Jonathan: Hey Erik, don’t call me that. Dude, why are you shaking like that?
Erik: Oh this? I just had a couple Rockstars, Monsters, Red Bulls, and pudding cups-
(Gasps) PUDDING CUPS! I’ll be right back! (Runs out the door still holding the controller)
Jonathan: Wow, weird. (Turns to Bill) Hey dude wake up, I need your help, like really badly.
Bill: (Just barely awake) Huh, what? Who’s there? Mommy? Oh, hey Jonathan, what’s up?
Jonathan: I think I finally know how I can learn to talk to girls without throwing up in the process.
Bill: Oh jeez this again.
Jonathan: Look I’ve got all the books, (Rummages in the suitcase and pulls out books) Women Are People Too, How to Love Yourself and Others, Conquer Your Fears, and Help For The Bed Wetting Child which I picked up by mistake. But all the others should help me.
Bill: How are these books supposed to help you talk to girls?
Jonathan: … Well… I guess I’ll just have to read them and then I can answer that question.
Bill: I’m sure this will work much better then all the other things you’ve tried, Jonathan. Hey can you toss me a pudding?
Jonathan: (Looks at the plastic bag full of Erik’s numerous empty energy drinks and pudding cups) Ummm, I think Erik ate them all.
Bill: That Robert. Where is he? (Jumps out of bed and grabs the bag) I’m gonna toss this bag right in his stupid face.
Jonathan: He ran out of here as soon as I got here.
Bill: What?
Jonathan: Yeah, he was kinda shaky too.
Bill: Well if he drank all these energy drinks and ate all my puddings then he should be jumping off the walls.
Jonathan: Anyway I really need your help Bill
Bill: And he took my controller!
Jonathan: Can you help me out?
Bill: Huh? Oh sure. What do you need?
Jonathan: I just need a little help practicing.
Bill: Practicing what? (Jonathan holds up a book) Please don’t tell me you want me to act like a girl.
Jonathan: Well…
Bill: Oh come on Jonathan!
Jonathan: Please, I’ve got a wig right here. (Pulls out wig from his suitcase) Just this one time.
Bill:… Fine.
Jonathan: Really?!
Bill: Just this once, and we never mention it again. (Puts on wig) I know I’m gonna regret this.
Jonathan: Ok let’s see here. (Flips through a book) Hit on any girl you see… Practice makes perfect… Ah here it is. Pick-up lines!
Bill: So I just stand here while you-
Jonathan: (Reading from book) Hey sexy… Did it hurt when you fell… Oh, from heaven?
Bill: Wow…
Jonathan: That bad?
Bill: Worse.
Jonathan: Okay well there has to be something better in here. (Flips through book)
(Knock, knock, knock)
Bill: That’s probably Erik.
(Bill answers the door to find Erik escorted by a female police officer. Erik is drowsy and looks like he could pass out right there)
Female Cop: Mister Taylor? (Emphasis on Mister)
Bill: Yeah… (Notices he still has the wig on and quickly takes it off) Can I help you Officer… Hot chick?
Hotchick: It’s pronounced Hotchick. Is this one yours?
Bill: I guess. What’d he do?
Erik: I didn’t do nothing, nowhere, no how! I was minding your own business!
Hotchick: Apparently he walked into a 7 eleven and tried to buy a six pack of pudding cups with a PS3 controller. When he was told that wasn’t allowed he tried to make a run for it with the pudding.
Bill: What? You idiot. Oh that reminds me. (Throws bag at Erik)
Erik: Hey!
Hotchick: Anyway when I tried to apprehend him he threw this at me (Hands Bill his controller) and began to shout “Bill needs his pudding!†over and over again until I finally caught him. So now I feel obligated to search these premises for drugs.
Bill: What!? Drugs? This is redicul-
Jonathan: Bill, please don’t yell at our beautiful guest like that. (Turns to Officer Hotchick) please do whatever you want, me casa es tu casa.
Hotchick: Thank you. (Begins inspecting for drug and Erik collapses on the bed, exhausted)
Bill: It’s actually my Casa.
Jonathan: (To Officer Hotchick) Are you a 10? Because you’re from Tennessee.
Hotchick: Actually I’m from Oklahoma.
Jonathan: Oh well um… (Grabs book and starts reading)
Bill: Are you almost done Officer?
Hotchick: Just about. This is a small place.
Jonathan: Oh! Hey mommy, I think I made an accident… (Everyone turns to Jonathan, and he looks down to the book) Help for the bed wetting child… (Nervous laugh)
Hotchick: Okay... well I think I’m done here. (Turns to Jonathan) And you, I’m off in a few minutes. Care to join me for a drink?
Jonathan: Really? Let’s go!
(Jonathan and Officer Hotchick exit)
Bill: Wow I can’t believe he just left like that. (Sits down next to Erik on the bed) Now I’m stuck all alone with you… and I don’t even have any pudding. (Erik holds up a six pack of Pudding cups) Sweet chocolate!
(Lights off the end)
Pudding Cups
Opens with a big bed in the middle of the stage, Bill is laying on it covered in dozens of blankets and pillows, and there is a TV facing the bed. The stage lights are on but dimmed a little. Bill is snoring loudly until there is a loud knocking sound.
(Series of knocks from off-stage)
Bill: Ugh! (Rustles in bed, turning left and right dynamically)
(Another series of knocks with a door bell thrown in)
Bill: (Sits straight up and stares at the door, he looks down to his watch and then proceeds to give his door the evil stink eye. After 10 seconds he gives a sigh of relief) Good. (Then lays back down)
(A musical series of knocks and doorbell rings, possibly in the tune of Jingle Bells or some other Christmas song)
Bill: (Jumps out of bed and pulls a 12 gauge shotgun out from under his bed) Come in. This better be good.
Erik: (Waltzes in with a plastic bag) Hey, Bill guess what I- (Notices the shotgun pointed at him) Whoa! Bill, is this about that one time in third grade when I stole your pudding cup?
Bill: (Starts to lower gun) No it’s-
Erik: (Interrupting) I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so, so, so sorry Bill!! I promise, I swear that I’ll buy you a whole six pack of pudding cups tomorrow. Please just don’t shoot me with that big scary gun.
Bill: (Lowers the shotgun and laughs) Ok, Erik, but I’m definitely going to hold you to that bud.
Erik: (Relieved) Phew. (Moves toward the TV and begins messing around with it) So guess what I just got.
Bill: (Ignores him) Why are you here? Its… (Looks at his watch again) 11:23 at night, Erik.
Erik: Actually its 12:23. Your watch must be off again. You always forget about daylight savings.
Bill: Well why are you here at 12:23?
Erik: Now its 24.
Bill: Why. Are. You. Here?!
Erik: Oh. Duh, for the sleep over, where is Jonathan by the way? Wasn’t he supposed to be here too?
Bill: You’re about 10 hours early, moron. Jonathan won’t be getting here till tenish, which is when I thought you were going to be coming.
Erik: Well I couldn’t wait. I just had to come straight here after I got what’s in this beautiful plastic bag.
(Bill and Erik stare at each other for a few seconds, each waiting for the other to say something)
Bill: What?
Erik: You never guessed.
Bill: Guessed what?
Erik: What I got. (Holds up bag)
Bill: Oh…. Um a… dog?
Erik: Wow you really suck at guessing games man. (Throws the bag at Bill, who just barely catches it)
Bill: (Opens the bag and pulls out what’s inside) Skyrim?
Erik: SKYRIM!!!
Bill: … I’m going back to sleep. (Throws Skyrim at Erik and lays back down) I guess you can stay here for the night. (Erik starts playing Skyrim) Have fun playing Skyrim. Just keep it down.
Erik: Don’t worry I will. See you in a couple hours. (Proceeds to play Skyrim at the foot of the bed)
(Lights go out and when the come back they are no longer dimmed at all. You see Erik still at the foot of the bed, however he is visibly twitching with the controller in his hands. the plastic bag is next to him, now full of trash)
Erik: Bill, door!
Bill: (Moaning in protest)
Erik: Fine I’ll get it, you lazy bum. (Gets up to answer the door with controller still in hand visibly shaking. Jonathan walks in and puts down a suitcase) Hey Jon-Jon.
Jonathan: Hey Erik, don’t call me that. Dude, why are you shaking like that?
Erik: Oh this? I just had a couple Rockstars, Monsters, Red Bulls, and pudding cups-
(Gasps) PUDDING CUPS! I’ll be right back! (Runs out the door still holding the controller)
Jonathan: Wow, weird. (Turns to Bill) Hey dude wake up, I need your help, like really badly.
Bill: (Just barely awake) Huh, what? Who’s there? Mommy? Oh, hey Jonathan, what’s up?
Jonathan: I think I finally know how I can learn to talk to girls without throwing up in the process.
Bill: Oh jeez this again.
Jonathan: Look I’ve got all the books, (Rummages in the suitcase and pulls out books) Women Are People Too, How to Love Yourself and Others, Conquer Your Fears, and Help For The Bed Wetting Child which I picked up by mistake. But all the others should help me.
Bill: How are these books supposed to help you talk to girls?
Jonathan: … Well… I guess I’ll just have to read them and then I can answer that question.
Bill: I’m sure this will work much better then all the other things you’ve tried, Jonathan. Hey can you toss me a pudding?
Jonathan: (Looks at the plastic bag full of Erik’s numerous empty energy drinks and pudding cups) Ummm, I think Erik ate them all.
Bill: That Robert. Where is he? (Jumps out of bed and grabs the bag) I’m gonna toss this bag right in his stupid face.
Jonathan: He ran out of here as soon as I got here.
Bill: What?
Jonathan: Yeah, he was kinda shaky too.
Bill: Well if he drank all these energy drinks and ate all my puddings then he should be jumping off the walls.
Jonathan: Anyway I really need your help Bill
Bill: And he took my controller!
Jonathan: Can you help me out?
Bill: Huh? Oh sure. What do you need?
Jonathan: I just need a little help practicing.
Bill: Practicing what? (Jonathan holds up a book) Please don’t tell me you want me to act like a girl.
Jonathan: Well…
Bill: Oh come on Jonathan!
Jonathan: Please, I’ve got a wig right here. (Pulls out wig from his suitcase) Just this one time.
Bill:… Fine.
Jonathan: Really?!
Bill: Just this once, and we never mention it again. (Puts on wig) I know I’m gonna regret this.
Jonathan: Ok let’s see here. (Flips through a book) Hit on any girl you see… Practice makes perfect… Ah here it is. Pick-up lines!
Bill: So I just stand here while you-
Jonathan: (Reading from book) Hey sexy… Did it hurt when you fell… Oh, from heaven?
Bill: Wow…
Jonathan: That bad?
Bill: Worse.
Jonathan: Okay well there has to be something better in here. (Flips through book)
(Knock, knock, knock)
Bill: That’s probably Erik.
(Bill answers the door to find Erik escorted by a female police officer. Erik is drowsy and looks like he could pass out right there)
Female Cop: Mister Taylor? (Emphasis on Mister)
Bill: Yeah… (Notices he still has the wig on and quickly takes it off) Can I help you Officer… Hot chick?
Hotchick: It’s pronounced Hotchick. Is this one yours?
Bill: I guess. What’d he do?
Erik: I didn’t do nothing, nowhere, no how! I was minding your own business!
Hotchick: Apparently he walked into a 7 eleven and tried to buy a six pack of pudding cups with a PS3 controller. When he was told that wasn’t allowed he tried to make a run for it with the pudding.
Bill: What? You idiot. Oh that reminds me. (Throws bag at Erik)
Erik: Hey!
Hotchick: Anyway when I tried to apprehend him he threw this at me (Hands Bill his controller) and began to shout “Bill needs his pudding!†over and over again until I finally caught him. So now I feel obligated to search these premises for drugs.
Bill: What!? Drugs? This is redicul-
Jonathan: Bill, please don’t yell at our beautiful guest like that. (Turns to Officer Hotchick) please do whatever you want, me casa es tu casa.
Hotchick: Thank you. (Begins inspecting for drug and Erik collapses on the bed, exhausted)
Bill: It’s actually my Casa.
Jonathan: (To Officer Hotchick) Are you a 10? Because you’re from Tennessee.
Hotchick: Actually I’m from Oklahoma.
Jonathan: Oh well um… (Grabs book and starts reading)
Bill: Are you almost done Officer?
Hotchick: Just about. This is a small place.
Jonathan: Oh! Hey mommy, I think I made an accident… (Everyone turns to Jonathan, and he looks down to the book) Help for the bed wetting child… (Nervous laugh)
Hotchick: Okay... well I think I’m done here. (Turns to Jonathan) And you, I’m off in a few minutes. Care to join me for a drink?
Jonathan: Really? Let’s go!
(Jonathan and Officer Hotchick exit)
Bill: Wow I can’t believe he just left like that. (Sits down next to Erik on the bed) Now I’m stuck all alone with you… and I don’t even have any pudding. (Erik holds up a six pack of Pudding cups) Sweet chocolate!
(Lights off the end)
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