Dueling Powers: Inner Strength
Posted: Fri Dec 02, 2011 7:44 pm
This is a different book i've been working on. Completely different worlds. I have some of the prologue ready for criticism, so read it and tell me what you think. There is some stuff that you might not get from just the prologue, but I'm gonna let you fill in the blanks and then ill tell you details later.
Here it is.
The streets of Flagstone were covered in the bodies of the Outer soldiers that thought they stood a chance against Lewi Daonn. Lewi stood in the town's square, with a gash in his side. He was surrounded by the grotesque Outer demonspawn, and his own team dead at his feet. He pointed his short spear at the nearest peice of demon scum and shouted. "Come on you hellspawn, charge at me!" They made no move toward him, they were being careful after he had massacred the rest of them.
But he was just toying with them at this point. After all, even through all this fighting, he still hadn't unleashed his power. He was hoping to save it for the last Outer standing.
He looked around the square, counting the bodies up and doing the math. Why wait? There's no time like the present. Lewi thought. He raised his spear above his head and closed his eyes. THe outer soldiers stared, confused at their enemy, and right as there were readying to charge the blood seeping from the numerous bodies all over the city, began to converge at the spear head raised in the air.
Lewi let out a sharp laugh at the sight of the dumbstruck Outer soldiers. His power usually had that effect, and he never got tired of it. "Nowhere to run now!" Lewi threw his weapon into the air and the blood began to rotate around the spear, slowly at first, but then gradually picking up speed, and by the time Lewi's spear land back into his hands, the blood had become a crimson hurricane lifting the Outer soldiers into the air, drowning them in their dead comrades' blood.
Lewi just stood in the eye of the storm with a smirk on his face. He was sent into this city to destroy the opposition, and he was certain he went above and beyond his superiors' expectations. Oh, they will be so happy to see what I've done for them. Lewi thought.
As the hurricane started to calm down and the, now dead, Outer soldiers began to land on the street with a "thump". Lewi spoke up. "So, Isabella I bet you're pretty tired from all that fighting. There was a pause as Lewi waits for an answer. "Oh I know that's not true. You have to be tired. Come on, I think I saw a bed over there that hadn't been destroyed in the attack."
Lewi limped into the nearby home, cradling his spear. He kicked the pale, bloodless corpse out of the doorway and moved to the bed. He bent down and gently placed his spear on the bed. "Now get some sleep, Isabella, you've had a big day." He stood back up and walked to a table, pushed up against the wall. He scanned the room for a chair, but finding none, he pushed himself onto the table and leaned back against the wall.
He sat there, motionless for a few seconds before responding to an unspoken question. "No Isabella, I'm not tired. Now stop worrying about me and got to sleep." He stared at his spear for a while until he was convinced it was asleep. Isabella always took care of him, but he just wanted to take care of her.
Here it is.
The streets of Flagstone were covered in the bodies of the Outer soldiers that thought they stood a chance against Lewi Daonn. Lewi stood in the town's square, with a gash in his side. He was surrounded by the grotesque Outer demonspawn, and his own team dead at his feet. He pointed his short spear at the nearest peice of demon scum and shouted. "Come on you hellspawn, charge at me!" They made no move toward him, they were being careful after he had massacred the rest of them.
But he was just toying with them at this point. After all, even through all this fighting, he still hadn't unleashed his power. He was hoping to save it for the last Outer standing.
He looked around the square, counting the bodies up and doing the math. Why wait? There's no time like the present. Lewi thought. He raised his spear above his head and closed his eyes. THe outer soldiers stared, confused at their enemy, and right as there were readying to charge the blood seeping from the numerous bodies all over the city, began to converge at the spear head raised in the air.
Lewi let out a sharp laugh at the sight of the dumbstruck Outer soldiers. His power usually had that effect, and he never got tired of it. "Nowhere to run now!" Lewi threw his weapon into the air and the blood began to rotate around the spear, slowly at first, but then gradually picking up speed, and by the time Lewi's spear land back into his hands, the blood had become a crimson hurricane lifting the Outer soldiers into the air, drowning them in their dead comrades' blood.
Lewi just stood in the eye of the storm with a smirk on his face. He was sent into this city to destroy the opposition, and he was certain he went above and beyond his superiors' expectations. Oh, they will be so happy to see what I've done for them. Lewi thought.
As the hurricane started to calm down and the, now dead, Outer soldiers began to land on the street with a "thump". Lewi spoke up. "So, Isabella I bet you're pretty tired from all that fighting. There was a pause as Lewi waits for an answer. "Oh I know that's not true. You have to be tired. Come on, I think I saw a bed over there that hadn't been destroyed in the attack."
Lewi limped into the nearby home, cradling his spear. He kicked the pale, bloodless corpse out of the doorway and moved to the bed. He bent down and gently placed his spear on the bed. "Now get some sleep, Isabella, you've had a big day." He stood back up and walked to a table, pushed up against the wall. He scanned the room for a chair, but finding none, he pushed himself onto the table and leaned back against the wall.
He sat there, motionless for a few seconds before responding to an unspoken question. "No Isabella, I'm not tired. Now stop worrying about me and got to sleep." He stared at his spear for a while until he was convinced it was asleep. Isabella always took care of him, but he just wanted to take care of her.
